Friday, February 16, 2007

breast or bust

well i guess we have reached bust. no more boobs for casey. she has fully weaned herself. my boobies are no longer needed. kellen did this much earlier, so i am glad casey hung in there a few more months than he. yes breast feeding is a full time, give it to me now, sore nipple, hard job, but i wouldn't trade it and now that is done i am sad. i will soon forget how you used to grab the skin on the back of my arm so very hard. pinching and twisting it as you nursed bringing tears to my eyes at times and leaving tiny bruises on the backs of my arms. or how your would drink and drink and gag yourself not being able to control the flow most times. all this was strange and challenging, but it was you and me getting to know eachother. your hunger, almost desperate at times, was a feeling of total purpose. you had a need and i could satisfy that need. such a feeling of purpose is a blessing seldom received.to watch your little one grow and know that it is because of you is very fulfilling. gone is the ease of just "whipping it out" and feeding on the spot. no food prep required. have boob will travel. hungry at amy's house, no problem...hungry in the car, no problem. pull over and dining for one at "the breastaurant" (as dewey so affectionately coined it)but those days are gone...what is next? well most babies move onto baby food, not casey. no thank you she said loud and clear! everytime i approached with spoon in hand with some yummy fruit all pureed for her convenience, she responded with a lightening fast grab of the spoon and flicked the food all over me, her, and any and all surroundings. i was feeling very frustrated, come on casey this is the "next step", like some sort of right of passage that she must go through. but a resounding NO was all i got from her. ok you win. so now each day is a fun fest of chopped up foods that she can grab and squish and manipulate in her chubby little fists. i'd guess that maybe half of these concoctions actually make it to her mouth, and perhaps half of that actually gets chewed and swallowed. but she is happy as a clam, and yes still growing. just digging right in. perhaps this comes from having a big brother so close in age. she sees him every meal just eating away and she figured hey i can do that! so well done casey, enjoy your apple, grape, cheerio, broccoli and cheese menagerie...

ps. i did so love our time together, just you, me, and the boobies. it is missed.


3 comments:

Pumpkinmama said...

Bittersweet moment. Good for you, mama, you should be proud of the gorgeous baby you grew!

Amy said...

Thank you posting this. It reminds us to enjoy it while we can and be proud of what we gave when it's over. You're a great mom and we will always make sure your little ones know it.

Eve said...

Aaawwwww, sniff, sniff...

The pinching and the twisting, and the poking and grabbing of eyes and noses, and the milky grins....
I'm already sad knowing that our breastfeeding time will be over in a few months too, and this will be my last time......

It's funny how in the awful first few weeks of nursing, I NEVER thought it would be something that I would cherish so much...