Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Danger Girl and Scaredy Mommy

We have been so fortunate, healthy kids. but Danger Girl, having fallen and broken her front tooth on father's day, has to have that tooth pulled today. She has no idea what is coming her way, but I do, and that is the problem. i want to comfort her already and tell her it will be ok, but she just grins at me with her chipped tooth smile as if to say "what mommy? what are you saying? why are you looking at me with sad eyes?" she is super strong. i am betting strong enough for both of us today. she is a trooper. she came into this world full of tears and cries and colic. she has had diaper rash almost every day of her 18 months. she more than holds her own with her big brother and even bigger sister. she is fearless, which got us here in this predicament. i know she will have no memopry of today when she is older, but there is today and i will remember. it is a double edged sword. on one hand we get to hold her, arms of comfort around her, familiar eyes to look at; but then on the other hand we get to hold her , arms around to hold her down, familiar eyes to look at with sad scared eyes as if to plead to us for help, make him stop... it is making me sick this morning thinking about it, dwelling on it. logically i know this is necessary, her nerve in that tooth is infected, visably so, black and green, it must come out. but why can't i just wish it and make it so? don't mommies have super powers? i wish i could find my cape.

No comments: