Thursday, June 18, 2009

self

fitting it be thursday.
love thursday.
i have decided to commit to a 52 week self portrait project.
this will be my hardest project to date... for me.
i like behind the lens.
it wasn't always this way.
i used to like photos of myself.  a long long time ago.
i have gained and lost and regained weight. 
i live in comfy "mommy" clothes (meaning stained and stretchy), though recently i have made an effort to have a few nicer items to wear.
i wear little to no make-up.
my essentials are face cream and smith's rosebud lip balm always.
perhaps some masacra on a date night.
i do nothing to my hair;  no color, no styling products, not even a hairdryer, nada.  i cut it myself.  short. 
i have good teeth.  :)    i like my smile.  that's a start.
i am not sure what i really want from this project...  self acceptance, self change, or just simply forcing myself to do it.   any and all of those things would be good.  
i DO know i want my children to have high self esteem.  how can i instill it, if i don't practice it myself?
and so i begin.  
week 1
a study in self. 
who knows, maybe a little self love will enter.

22 comments:

jodi said...

you can do it!
and you do have *killer* teeth!!

vivienne said...

yay! i'll be cheering you on in this journey to witness your own beauty!

Anonymous said...

Wow, reading that was like reading words of my own! You have inspired me to start my own 52 SPs. Thank you :-)

justhay said...

hope it doessn't take 52 weeks for you to recognise the amazingly beautiful woman we have all come to love and admire.

jenica said...

i've had a similar experience, i never had any issues in front of the lens before i had children. but the body changes and it's hard to see yourself in a way you're not used to. but that's the beauty of this challenge, being forced to see the elements you've always seen as ugly... and learning to see beauty in the curves. be gentle with yourself, treat the editing process the same way you would for a good friend.

xoxo

simplyblogged said...

I think you are adorable so this should be fun. I love what you wrote and the dippy above.

renee @ FIMBY said...

yeehaw! I'd love to see more photos or your beautiful self. I'm the same kinda mama, except my husband gives me a buzzcut every couple months instead of me cutting it myself. Mascara is for date night, maybe.

Amy Jo said...

I've never liked what I see when I'm in front of the lens, which makes me sad. I want my little one to have photos of him and mama, so something has to give.

Your words also resonated with me. I think so many women with young children experience this. I am slowly buying myself some nicer clothes and I plan to treat myself to some pretty bras now that little one is self-weaning (talk about mixed emotions!). And, the big thing for me, because I too rarely wear makeup, is that I have my brows waxed regularly. Something about tidy brows makes me feel like my face is more presentable. Call it silly, but it does give me some kind of lift!

I look forward to following your journey.

Karen Mowrey said...

Kristin, wow good for you! This is a fantastic project! I might even consider it. I have always been behind the camera as well. Not comfortable in front of it but do like some pictures. I have learned a lot about myself during bench Monday sessions of me...in front of my camera. It does and will boost the self esteem. We all have what we may consider flaws but we tend to notice them more and neglect our assets...or even realize we have assets...let alone look at and appreciate them. Even if our assets are our talents, somehow it will show in our self portraits. I look forward to seeing what you discover and what I will learn from you and about you!

Looks to me from this shot you are doing something right, it is beautiful and so are you!

Rachael said...

best of luck on this journey...you are off to a beautiful start!

kristin said...

thank you all! such kind encouragement. seems we all share so many of the same feelings and can only lift each other up. thank you.

meredithwinn said...

oh momma, i saw your new set and knew you were on to something great. i think this is beautiful and only good things can come from this self reflection. you may have inspired this camerashymomma to join in too, if i can commit to a project :)

you are always such an inspiration to me.
xo

Tracy (Surprise Pally) said...

Sounds like a great project! you're so beautiful and this will undoubtedly help you see this. have fun with this!

Clare said...

weird how so many women have the same issue. I no longer want my pictures taken. I'm still struggling to get rid of last year's baby weight. I don't care about "looking pretty" anymore- I'm more concerned about "keeping Maya happy and healthy". But if momma isn't happy and healthy then I've failed both ways.

Really we should all get together and discuss all this...and so much more!

someday...

anyway, I think you've got to be the cutest person in Maine, and I've only seen parts of your face! With beautiful happy children, you've got to be a cutie.

I hope you can do all 52!!

Lily Boot said...

a beautiful summer face - I wish you well with your adventure!

Tina said...

the first of 52 is beautiful and honest. i haven't felt very great about my weight either. thank goodness for cropping. :)

mames said...

you just inspired and reminded me to get back into the 52 project...i fell off for some of the sane reasons you wrote, but i want to go back to being a part of my photo journey. thanks, kristin. and you are lovely, just lovely. now, onward.

kristin said...

thank you. yes journey on.

elk said...

you know it is always something...all I see in my selfies is wrinkles...i am so happy you are going to try this...blessings

myinspired♥{sandra} said...

i've been doing a similar thing for the last year with self portrait challenge and i have come to actually enjoy the process, whereas when i started, i was forcing myself to do it. i'm so glad you decided to do this....i think you'll be soooo glad you did!

sandra said...

Good for you! I'll be following along. I can totally relate with not wanting to be in front of the camera. I feel I have changed so much. Weight gain, loooking older etc..I have participated in the self portrait challenge and found it very difficult to ever like any photos of myself. I hope you can discover self acceptance!

jessica said...

Wow.. feels very happy to go through this blog...
cheer
___________________
Jessica
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