Thursday, May 06, 2010

universal truths


a week or so ago my friend jodi emailed me this list.
i liked it so much i saved it in my inbox so i could re read it.
it is long,  but i think you will nod or giggle at more than just a few.
happy friday!

Universal Truths

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear 
your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was
younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty
sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for
the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I
don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me
if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear
I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello?
Hello?!?!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times
and goes to voicemail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the
phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not
seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite (or wine or Margaritas) than Kay Jewelry. 

20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Speed Trap" and “Avoid Bad Neighborhood” routing options.

21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and
suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

22. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand
than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod
and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up
to prevent an ass from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get
dirty, and you can wear them forever.

28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are
going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

30. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car
keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the
Donkey - but I'd bet my behind everyone can find and push the snooze
button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time,
every time!

31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still
not know what time it is.


i am adding my own here at the end.

32. jumping on the bed is fun.  we should all do it more.

26 comments:

cynthia said...

I giggled. I nodded. And now it's off to bed ... but not to jump on it coz that would wake the hubby up : ) Thanks for sharing.

Vanessa @ SoDarnHappy said...

Oh this is fantastic. Number 29 made me snort I laughed so hard.

Lily Boot said...

Oh this list made me laugh for the first time today - and it's dinner time, it's been a long day feeling sour. Awesome! and totally agree about the obituaries - it would really add some character.

KaHolly said...

Your list, long as it was, gave me quite a chuckle!! Thank you for sharing!!~karen

alobsiger said...

Thank you! Number 11, ah, yes, number 11...

JaL said...

Oh thank you for this! What a fine way to start my Friday with a good laugh and knowing I'm going to send this to at least 3 people =)

boatbaby said...

Brilliant, I laughed all the way through. Thank you for this!

MelodyA said...

No. 27 is so true but I never woulda admitted. Glad to know it's universal so now I'll just wear it like a smile. I'm gonna have to pass on that list. :)

beth said...

love love love this list...i might have to pass it on to others who won't get here to see it :)

sandra said...

oh my gosh...i loved each and every word! funny!

A Peppermint Penguin said...

1,2,3,4,8,9,13,15,16,17,18,24,25,31

Your friend Jodi is clearly a genius!

Thanks for sharing.

Cheers,
AJ

Char said...

I love it too! and the jumping

it's a rule in our family everytime we go to a hotel especially

Sam said...

26, 26, 26, ... right arm! out a state, man! people before property, make love not war. Band of Brothers, Unite.

Sam said...

that said, I think Thursday was a cranky day all around. Everywhere I went, everyone's blog, everyone I spoke to,....Maybe it was all my fault? And the sun didn't come out, and I broke 2 toes and had to go be polite at openhouse at school.

spread your wings said...

this really made my day. thanks!
the image too : )

backyard*INK said...

5. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello?
Hello?!?!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times
and goes to voicemail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the
phone and run away?

this is still cracking me up...really, i can't stop. i'm just picturing the person dropping the phone and running away. oh goodness.

thanks for the good laugh, you always know how to make my day better.

oh yeah and that last one you added. perfect. :)

Amy said...

so freekin cute images ALWAYS!
the list oh yeah I nodded all the way through it and chuckled along the way! x

Amy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
wendy said...

I love this! So true and for some reason this made me feel better...about what I'm not sure but I feel better. Maybe because it made me totally laugh and that always feels good. =D

Amanda said...

Thank you! I made my husband read this too, and we both had quite a good laugh. Happy Friday!

georgia b. said...

this was absolutely the best! thanks for sharing it. and i absolutely agree with your addition to the list. love the photos, too.

i also so identified with 3, 5, 9 and 14.

great post!

romy said...

Everything about this is fabulous! Thanks for sharing (and we should all jump on the bed at least once a year!)

Just Me Again said...

Awesome list! LOL. I gotta confess, on number 7, I think I know why Map Quest starts with all those straight out of the door directions. It's all my fault. It's for people like me who get lost every time, even from places they know all too well. I've gotten lost coming home from work when I take the wrong exit. True story. :)

Becca Jane said...

Haha, wow this was a great list...I love #4 and #29. And totally #14... This is my first time to your blog, I love it! Thanks for a great read tonight!

Becky said...

Great pics! And I laughed until my belly hurt!

jodi said...

oh, i missed that you posted this. it's SO good, isn't it?

especially # 3 & 4.

oh -- and i found the answer to #5!

http://www.stephmodo.com/2010/03/how-to-fold-fitted-sheet.html