i am not sure my words will come this month. it is going to be a month packed full of many big changes and shifts for my little family. bittersweet in many ways, so i may be absent from this space a lot this month, taking time to process and accept all august brings.
for starters my mom will soon be on her way on her new journey. she has sold her place here and will be moving far south to sunny fl. the climate will be so very good for her. winters in maine are harsh. economy in maine is tough. i am happy knowing she will be in a good place for her, but saying goodbye is never ever easy. not for me, or her, or the kids. we will just look forward to the visits and a warm sunny place to escape to come february when we have all had our fill of winter here. we have been blessed to have her here with us for 5 years. that was a gift. dwelling on the goodbye is just hard, so instead i prefer, "see you soon"...
then 2 short weeks after that, our eldest daughter departs on the beginning of her new journey, college life. she will be moving into a dorm, her first move away from home. oh i remember the excitement and freedom and joy of being 18 and going away to college, i know she is feeling all this and waiting the next few weeks will probably feel like an eternity for her. one leaving the nest, my first born. big stuff. big changes not just for me, but her much younger siblings. her little brother and sister adjusting to "sissy" no longer being here in our every day to day life.
then to add to all this change, (as if those first 2 weren't enough) our youngest is now 5 years old and will be embarking into kindergarten. she is so very ready. she has been ready since her big brother began school 2 years ago. seeing them walk in to school together, big backpacks on tiny tiny shoulders, my heart might just burst. yes i do believe it will. and after they walk away into school i will return to an empty home for the very first time in 5 years. that is huge.
so you see there is a lot of spreading of wings, taking flight and leaving happening around here this month. my heart is in my throat already. emotions are right there just under the surface of my smile. tears fall at unexpected times as i catch my breath... taking each new day as it comes and trying to savor each moment of beauty in those days. like that tiny foot above in my small hand; moments of painting tiny toes, jumping waves and building sand castles as we savor these final days of summer vacation, and preparing for these transitions ahead..
as august comes and goes and summer ends, it will not be just the season changing for us here. no, it is so much more than that.