Saturday, October 22, 2011

re entry

thursday i think i may have just blacked out.
so.tired.
flying a red eye... in horrible turbulence for 6 hours...major thumbs down.
today woke to sunshine, got kids off to school and shared breakfast with friends.
i am so happy to be here safe in my little bubble of home. my husband is so encouraging with questions and open ears for my stories from camp. my kids are more than generous with great hugs and "i missed you mommy", but something has shifted since camp. seriously feeling like i was cracked open there and now i am unsure how to put it all back together, or if i even want to. lucky for me my hubby "gets it". he listens and nods to the powerful stories i have shared with him. (thank god he gets it) but now i feel strange. unbalanced. in between.

like i mentioned before, camp was so not about the photography for me, but the coming together, the connecting, the stripping away of layers, exposing fears, getting real, seeing and being seen. there were beautiful words shared each day. poems, soulfully selected for our eager ears and read to us by the beautiful Myriam. (i wish she were here to read me a poem today. and tomorrow. and the day after that. you get the picture. i am missing that soul food she gave us so freely) so while i float a bit in this in between space i will share one of those beautiful poems here with all of you. perhaps you need these words too.

Sweet Darkness
by David Whyte

When your eyes are tired
the world is tired also.

When your vision has gone
no part of the world can find you.

Time to go into the dark
where the night has eyes
to recognize its own.

There you can be sure
you are not beyond love.

The dark will be your womb
tonight.

The night will give you a horizon
further than you can see.

You must learn one thing:
the world was made to be free in.

Give up all the other worlds
except the one to which you belong.

Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet
confinement of your aloneness
to learn

anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive

is too small for you.

19 comments:

fiona jones said...

Thanks for sharing this poem...I so needed these words today...x

Life in Eden said...

that last stanza was my favorite. so powerful to battle my demons with. i give way too much power to those who bring nothing to my life.

so happy to have seen and hugged you. can't wait to do it all again. xoxo

kristen said...

i love david whyte. his poetry is so evocative and captures a moment in a way that no other poet does for me.

thank you for this - it's good to hear these words resonating in my head as i put myself into a class today and outside of my comfort zone. xo

Barb said...

Thank you so much for sharing this. Like fiona commented, I too needed to hear these words this morning. And thank you for your blog. I often walk away with something to contemplate after reading a post.

BostonGirl said...

Although I hear it, and I understand it, sometimes making the decision to throw off those things which do not bring you alive is so scary. I hope to find the courage soon...

Thanks for this post, and I really enjoyed meeting you. :)

Wendy McDonagh-Valentine said...

This is absolutely beautiful and brought tears to my eyes. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing this. I completely understand the space that you're in right now. This is what happens to us when we're on the verge of something big in our life. Take that leap of faith and don't let anything hold you back. That poem says it all. :)

~ Wendy
http://Crickleberrycottage.blogspot.com/

Suki said...

This is a beautiful poem.
And sometimes these in between stages of unknowingness and unraveledness lead into a good and very awesome direction.
It is always good to have someone by your side to get you. Nothing better than that.

Papillon Sky Photography said...

That poem! wow!!! i can't wait to hear more about camp. sounds like it was amazing. you needed that, i'm sure, after sending all of your kiddos off to school and with your mama moving back to fl. so happy you filled your soul with lovely words and moments with your fellow shutter sisters!!

Marcie said...

This is the most beautiful poem. So much of it resonates..thank-you for sharing!

Kim Klassen said...

you just made me cry... beautifully said my new and gorgeous friend.... perfectly describes what i am feeling.... and i too and so thankful for a hubby who listens and seems to really 'get this'.....

love.... xxo....

Heather said...

I know how that feels, coming back down to earth and real life. You'll get back into the groove of things soon, just take your time!~

meredithwinn said...

oof my heart.
i haven't yet sat down and put pen to paper. i'm afraid when i do i won't be able to stop the tears. in the best possible way. thanks for this post dear friend. xo

tara said...

such beautiful words. i need to find a way to get on myriam's dial a poem list...

Leslie said...

So, so good...hugs to you!

Meghan @ Life Refocused said...

*sigh*

Stef said...

you have said it all ...more than I can say right now. feeling like I've been flung back into my everyday world but I'm still back on the beach with the fog rolling by us...how do we deal with the re-entry without losing what we found?
xoxo

sarah jean, said...

i just re-read that poem again....
seriously that last stanza is EXACTLY what i needed to get me over the last little hump and right on out of this funk.

too small for me.

Lauren P. said...

What a great poem - will resonate in me for quite some time I believe.

chelle said...

It's so sweet to know there is a community of sisters out there 'who get it' thanks to u & the sisters for creating it, the word 'empowered' comes to my mind & I kind of feel like crying, there is somewhere deep in my spirit I am touched. The courage of others helps to bring out the courage you never knew you had & to believe in it. Thankyou for sharing, once again x