Friday, September 21, 2012

baby of mine

he used to be so plump and round.
he had this great melon of a head, wisps of blonde hair that used to stick straight up off the top of it  (those wisps turned to golden curls) he had rolls on his rolls.  "cankles" and chubby baby fists. the fattest feet! he was so darn cute.  of course we nibbled on all those delicious parts all the time. he was down right edible. each year he grows a little bit taller. those yummy rolls are long gone. i joke that he is a sharp object now,  all angles and bones.  kid legs, shoulder blades, cheek bones.  same denim blues eyes that look right into you.  same golden curls.  every now and then i take a shot of him and see the baby in the boy and it always brings me pause.

 tonight we were outside, just us 2.  his sister was up the street playing with a new friend.  i sat on the steps as he zoomed up and down our street on his scooter.  it is new to us and he is still mastering the skill,  but he gets faster and faster every time he is on it.  maybe a little too confident sometimes, and you sort of get the feeling that something is going to happen. i remind him to slow down,  to be careful, to watch for the cars. (i am the mom. i worry.) but i am working on not hovering so much.  i let him go,  i was right there,  i watched,  cheered him on as he tried new things.  then it happened,  the scooter slipped out and he fell pretty hard, even hit his head (thank goodness for the helmet) i jumped up and ran over and saw all was ok.  a few scrapes,  probably a few fresh bruises tomorrow, but he was ok.  i played it cool.  i walked back down to our front steps and he followed.  we sat there, me on the steps, he on the sidewalk.  i had my camera in my lap and clicked a few shots off.  i shoot right from my lap, staying in the moment with him as he talked, never raising the camera to my eye. sometimes this works,  and sometimes i get shots of my own feet or the sky.  he sat and told me about the applesauce they made in his class today.  how GOOD it smelled cooking away all day. how they all helped cut the apples and put them into 2 crock pots in the morning.  they added cinnamon.  and at 2:00 they got to eat the fruits of their labor in warm yummy applesauce.... i could tell the fall shook him up and he needed to just talk,  i was so very happy to listen.  after a few minutes he had calmed himself down enough that he stood back up and tried the scooter again. this time a little slower.

when i came upstairs and looked at my shots, this one made me catch my breath,  in it i see the baby in the boy.  not sure what about this exactly,  i think the softer cheeks,  those full lips of his.  something about it takes me right back to that little plump baby boy i once cradled in my arms.  they are only little once and it seems to fly by so very fast.  i am thankful for this moment. this day.  this photo.  this boy.

i think we may head out for some apples tomorrow.  he tells me the crock pot is the way to go...  :)


beans said...

Oh wow. Thanks for sharing. My boy just turned one and I am already being reminded of the "younger" him when I see "newer" babies. I can see why people keep having these things! What will I do when the wrinkles smooth out of his thighs?? Trouble is, I've already got my hands full with the one. When is it no longer appropriate to blow raspberries on their bellies?

Susan said...

for some reason, this post took my breath away a little... lovely.

our babies grow up too fast but what a ride watching it happen.

GailO said...

It aches to be a mom:)

Jen said...

First time stopping by your blog and I'm completely hooked. Your words are so beautiful and your photos are a delight. As a momma of 3 little boys, this post shattered my heart into a million bitter-sweet pieces because I live this on a daily basis...watching my wee ones grow into little men. Thank you for such a poignant, timely post!

Sweet Carolina Girl said...

Beautiful words and great picture. I know what you mean about the chub turning into angles: as I was lying down with my 4.5 year old beanpole tonight, I just had this sudden and strong recollection of him about 2 years ago standing on the same bed telling some garbled tale about taking a friend on holiday. .I don't remember all the details but I recall him looking so much more like a *baby* - whereas now he's just so grown-up! :(
I also love your trip of shooting from your lap and staying in the moment. So important...x

Anonymous said...

Beautiful post. I am already seeing traces of my son's babyhood disappearing, little by little, even now that he is only 2. It goes by so fast!

Corinna said...

This is so, so sweet. He is a lucky boy to have such a mama.