Wednesday, October 29, 2008

29th gift


day 29 of 29~gifts. it has been a life lesson, an eye opening of all the little things i give each day, and the more i can give. i did not accomplish all i had hoped to these 29 days, but it has opened my eyes to mindfully giving. even something SO small, a hello, an "i SEE you, i love you" can totally change the direction of someone's day. today on day 29 i am giving myself a gift. in ways the most important gift, yet hardest to give, forgiveness. i made a list (yes written list) of people and situations that have burdened my heart. some go way back, but i can recall them, and the pain, like it was yesterday. how does that serve my children, my family, my spirit? of course it does not serve, but only takes away. carrying such anger and hurt, no matter how trivial is still taking up space where where something else could grow. so today i am releasing them. i am even giving them a little ceremony to honor this 29th day. for i am human, imperfect, and surely will stumble back upon one of these hurts, trip up, try to embrace it again. my hope is perhaps by doing this i can snap myself back out of that space. a little conversation with myself... no no no kristin, you let that go remember???!!! oh oh yes, right!.... i do not need to call each person to right any of this, no, this is for me, my gift. these feelings have taken up enough of my time already, today is just about setting them free, keeping them near has only made my bags heavy. so today like this image, i am emptying out~letting go~lightening my load.

in the spirit of giving i have some important plans.
***please check back tomorrow for a VERY special post. ***

11 comments:

andie said...

I love you sister friend. This was such a beautiful and tender post. Thank you for sharing it. I hope your "ceremony" includes you dressing up pretty, lighting a bon fire in your backyard and dancing wildly under the sun.

:)
Much love always,
a.

kristin said...

oooh andie you are SO very good with the ideas. no fire, too many leaves i may set my house a blaze.but i love your image, LOVE IT. but dressing up is a nice touch. have to work on that one.

Julie Alvarez said...

You are so good to yourself... You must do that in order to be the great person that I imagine you are.
I failed on the 29 gifts, all in a row at least... So many things happened. But I will keep connected to the idea, and try to track it as often as I can.

kristin said...

yes julie that is all i think the project is to do, keep you mindful of your opportunities that you CAN give. i was amazed at how little things came up almost each day, someone would would ask if i would like to donate $1,. normally i might have said no thank you not this time, but why not? why not this time? so it was my rule if ever there was anyone who asked or an simple opportunity like that i said YES , yes i would love to give.. i still a few things i wanted to give but have not yet, but now i will make sure of it.

meredithwinn said...

you are beautiful and so very wise.
thank you for this post.

Diane said...

Excellent, you.

leaca said...

beautiful post. i have yet to start this. i am doing it with a friend.

i will check back tomorrow. i am sure it will be as beautiful as this one.

mayaluna said...

What a wise one you are... so much to teach. I loved your balloon "ceremony" before I checked here, now it's even more significant. I'm so lucky to know someone as lovely as you. I'm very grateful to be in eachother's lives. I will be taking your words to bed tonight and tucking them close to my heart.
xoMaya

kristin said...

wow maya thank you. and yes i think i need to start planning a huge meet and greet for all of wonderful women. what do you think?!?! that would be an AMAZING tear filled day i think. a full circle.

danisoul said...

i love this. it's been a long while since i made a list with a ceremony - it is absolutely feels like time. thank you for the impetus, and your open heart.

Julie Alvarez said...

I would love to join all of you in that reunion... I wish I could!